Not So Important...

I have been having an exhausted existance since getting a job all those months ago, but I am, today, having a breather (before jumping into some serious Christmas shopping tomorrow). For this, I must throw out an apology to all my readers. This entry is not some deep spiritual thought process of my own. I am jumping around taking some thoughtful quizzes and sharing my results. That is it. Maybe they hold some legitimacy, but one can never know. If you feel pulled towards a quiz I have presented, let yourself give in. God works in mysterious ways...maybe that pointless little quiz will tell you something that you have been denying yourself to know about yourself. Maybe you're angry or sad and you have refused to accept that; the answers you give to certain quizzes can push that to focus and then you can pray and set your mind to fixing that which has caused such awful mindsets in that fragile mind of yours.

Your'>http://blogthings.com/howareyouspiritualquiz/results/?result=Active">Your Spiritual Style is Active and Powerful

You are bold, adventurous, and even brazen. You feel like the world is your oyster. You are pioneering and an outside the box thinker. You believe in possibilities. You believe in fighting for what's right. You get fired up from all the injustices you see. You are a problem solver. You want to fix everything that's broken in this world.

http://blogthings.com/howareyouspiritualquiz/">How Are You Spiritual?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

You'>http://blogthings.com/areyouarebeloraconformistquiz/results/?result=Conformist">You Are a Conformist

You are generally happy to go along to get along. You rather avoid conflict whenever possible. You don't mind following the crowd. You don't have to act different just to get noticed or feel good about yourself. Your tastes and preferences are classic. And classic never goes out of style. You don't try to conform, but you don't find a need to shake things up too much. You're happy with what you've got.

http://blogthings.com/areyouarebeloraconformistquiz/">Are You a Rebel or a Conformist?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Our Quizzes Weren't Written By Bored 12 Year Olds

You'>http://blogthings.com/whatkindofhappyareyouquiz/results/?result=Blissful">You Are Blissful

You are passionate about life and thrilled with the world. You aren't just feeling good... you're feeling great. Happiness comes easily to you. You are a truly radiant person. People feel your warm, jubilant vibes. You truly make the world a happier place. And a better place too.

http://blogthings.com/whatkindofhappyareyouquiz/">What Kind of Happy Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com">Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

You'>http://blogthings.com/areyouearthfireorairquiz/results/?result=Air">You Are Air

You are a quirky, flighty, and zany person. You change with the wind. You are highly creative and often inspired. You love to be spontaneous and hate restrictions. You have a yearning for travel and adventure. You want to have a wild and crazy life. You actually feel a bit more balanced when there is structure and stability in your life, but you avoid it.

http://blogthings.com/areyouearthfireorairquiz/">Are You Earth, Fire, or Air?

http://www.blogthings.com">The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

You'>http://blogthings.com/whatpartofthemorningareyouquiz/results/?result=Alarm">You Are the Alarm Clock

You don't have much of an opinion on mornings. No matter whether you like them or hate them, you have to get up. Your mornings tend to be a bit of a rushed affair. You have to be out the door by a certain time, and you have to hustle. You are not a big fan of wasting time, and the morning is no exception. You have a lot to get done, and it's time to get cracking. It's fair to say that you're on autopilot during the wee hours of the day. You have mornings down to a science.

http://blogthings.com/whatpartofthemorningareyouquiz/">What Part of the Morning Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: We'll Tell You The Truth... Someone Has To!

You'>http://blogthings.com/areyouburnedoutquiz/results/?result=89">You Are 89% Burned Out

You are extremely burned out. You work too hard, and you're not getting the results you deserve. It's time for a life change, as soon as you can manage it. You're giving away most of your energy to something you don't even enjoy.

http://blogthings.com/areyouburnedoutquiz/">Are You Burned Out?

http://www.blogthings.com">Work is Hard. Time for Blogthings!

You'>http://blogthings.com/areyouaparanoidschizophrenicquiz/results/?result=64">You Are 64% Paranoid Schizophrenic

You definitely have a chance of being a paranoid schizophrenic. Crazy or not, you certainly don't have a good grip on reality!

http://blogthings.com/areyouaparanoidschizophrenicquiz/">Are You A Paranoid Schizophrenic?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Learn Something Surprising About Yourself

You'>http://blogthings.com/whatperiodicelementareyouquiz/results/?result=Iron">You Are Iron

You take your time and make sure things are done right. You hate to make mistakes, no matter how big or small. You choose your words carefully to make sure you communicate effectively. You always get your point across. You aren't afraid of adventure but you don't seek it out. You rather tend to your own garden. You pride yourself on being detail oriented. You never forget about anyone or anything.

http://blogthings.com/whatperiodicelementareyouquiz/">What Periodic Element Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

You'>http://blogthings.com/whatbigcatareyouquiz/results/?result=Cougar">You Are a Cougar

You have more strength than most people, and with it, the ability to inflict a lot of harm. Your power gives you confidence, and you find leading others to be easy. You believe that you need to the best, and you are very driven to excel. Most people immediately admire you, but some people feel very envious of your abilities.

http://blogthings.com/whatbigcatareyouquiz/">What Big Cat Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

You'>http://blogthings.com/howspiritualareyouquiz/results/?result=6">You Are Super Spiritual

You are in touch with the world around you, and you find peace in connecting with others. You believe that every life is special and that every life has a purpose. You value harmony and understanding. You try not to judge, bicker, and fight. As simple as it sounds, you truly think it's important to make the world a better place.

http://blogthings.com/howspiritualareyouquiz/">How Spiritual Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Cheaper Than a Therapist

Your'>http://blogthings.com/whatcolorisyourauraquiz/results/?result=Blue">Your Aura is Blue

Spiritual and calm, you tend to live a quiet but enriching life. You are very giving of yourself. And it's hard for you to let go of relationships. The purpose of your life: showing love to other people Famous blues include: Angelina Jolie, the Dali Lama, Oprah Careers for you to try: Psychic, Peace Corps Volunteer, Counselor

http://blogthings.com/whatcolorisyourauraquiz/">What Color Is Your Aura?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

You'>http://blogthings.com/thejungletest/results/?rone=4&rtwo=1&rthree=2&rfour=4&rfive=1">You Are Wise

You are a protector and teacher. You help people deal with their struggles. Right now, you are seeking peace and tranquility in your life. You are drawn to people who are passionate and deep. You feel like there are many major things in your life that need to be changed. You are quick to react. You are courageous and bold.

http://blogthings.com/thejungletest/">The Jungle Test

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

You'>http://blogthings.com/howdoyouthinkquiz/results/?result=Creatively">You Think Creatively

Your brain works best when you let your intuition be your guide. You like to imagine, speculate, and fantasize. You have fun playing with ideas. You are interested in theories. You enjoy studying and developing them. You are drawn toward art, philosophy, and even math. Almost every subject is interesting to you.

http://blogthings.com/howdoyouthinkquiz/">How Do You Think?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Free Quizzes for Everyone

Your'>http://blogthings.com/whatdoesyourtasteinmusicsayaboutyouquiz/results/?result=UpbeatAndConventional">Your Taste in Music Says You're Cheerful

Your musical tastes are upbeat and conventional. You are an easy going, optimistic person. Family and friends are very important to you. You enjoy caring for and helping other people. You thrive in a tranquil environment, and you do your best to keep things peaceful. You enjoy your life. You have your priorities straight.

http://blogthings.com/whatdoesyourtasteinmusicsayaboutyouquiz/">What Does Your Taste in Music Say About You?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

You'>http://blogthings.com/areyouadventurousquiz/results/?result=Extremely">You Are Extremely Adventurous

You are adventurous to the point of being reckless. You need to keep your adrenaline pumping. You have a playful approach to life, and you get a lot of joy from taking risks. You like to life in the moment. Like most adventurous people, you get bored easily whenever you are between thrills. Try to find adventure in everyday life. Eat a new meal or make a new friend. That will hold you over until your next big fun experience.

http://blogthings.com/areyouadventurousquiz/">Are You Adventurous?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

You'>http://blogthings.com/howexpressiveareyouquiz/results/?result=Somewhat">You Are Somewhat Expressive

You are the type of person who has a lot of thoughts... too many to express all of them. You are astute and downright smart. Your intelligence is subtle and shrewd. When something is important enough, you will tell people about it. You like to mull things over for a while. You are deeply intuitive. For you, gut instincts will always trump logic.

http://blogthings.com/howexpressiveareyouquiz/">How Expressive Are You?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

The'>http://blogthings.com/whatisthemeaningofyourlifequiz/results/?result=Legacy">The Meaning of Your Life is Legacy

You want to live the kind of life that will change the world. And you want to leave a bit of your influence behind. Whether you become a novelist, philanthropist, artist, or inventor, people will miss you when you're gone. You want to serve both future and present generations. You feel like you've been blessed, and you want to share the wealth. You want to be remembered and celebrated. It may be a lofty goal, but you're up for the task!

http://blogthings.com/whatisthemeaningofyourlifequiz/">What Is The Meaning of Your Life?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Take a Quiz. Annoy Your Friends.

You'>http://blogthings.com/thefourfactorselfactualizationtest/results/?a=3&h=1&f=3&t=1">You Are Somewhat Self Actualized

Your awareness is high. You notice everything - you are extremely detail oriented. Your honesty is medium. You're somewhat open, but there are a few secrets you keep to yourself. Your freedom is high. You need to be completely independent and free to do whatever you feel like. Your trust is medium. You can trust others, but it takes a while for that trust to be earned.

http://blogthings.com/thefourfactorselfactualizationtest/">The Four Factor Self-Actualization Test

http://www.blogthings.com">The First Rule of Blogthings Is: You Don't Talk About Blogthings

You'>http://blogthings.com/whatdoyouneedtobehappyquiz/results/?result=Success">You Need Success to Be Happy

You are a responsible and serious person. You like to do things well. Reaching your goals is very important to you, and you don't like getting sidetracked. You feel great when you are mastering new tasks and solving problems. You believe in hard work. Nothing makes you feel worse than feeling like you are doing a bad job.

http://blogthings.com/whatdoyouneedtobehappyquiz/">What Do You Need to Be Happy?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

Your'>http://blogthings.com/whatsyourinnercolorquiz/results/?result=Orange">Your Inner Color is Orange

Your Personality: A total daredevil, you'll try any thrill. You're easily bored and you prefer to be on the go. You in Love: You see love as an adventure, and you find most men dull. You need someone who challenges you! Your Career: Your ideal job is flexible, fun, and maybe a little dangerous. You have the makings of a private investigator or extreme athlete.

What's" Your Inner Color?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

You'>http://blogthings.com/doyoupromotepeacequiz/results/?result=Sometimes">You Sometimes Promote Peace

You probably consider yourself a peaceful person, but you're not as peaceful as you could be. You tend to avoid conflict or even sometimes actively prolong it. You need to be right. If you truly want to promote peace, you're going to have to put your ego in check. Make amends even when you don't feel like making them. Forgive and forget. That's how peace happens.

http://blogthings.com/doyoupromotepeacequiz/">Do You Promote Peace?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

You'>http://blogthings.com/howdoyoudealwithconflictquiz/results/?result=Calmly">You Deal with Conflict Calmly

You don't know how to be anyone but yourself, and that's part of your charm. You are genuine. You are everything you seem to be. You keep it real, and you aren't too good to be true. You try not to make a big deal out of anything. You are good at keeping life's problems in perspective. You are self-assured and self-reliant. You have a lot of confidence in yourself.

http://blogthings.com/howdoyoudealwithconflictquiz/">How Do You Deal With Conflict?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Waste Time at Work!

Your'>http://blogthings.com/whatsyourdominantpersonalitytraitquiz/results/?result=Inquisitiveness">Your Dominant Personality Trait is Inquisitiveness

You are an imaginative and curious person. You are excited to learn about the world. You are interested in all sorts of topics. You like to understand history and how things work. You are both a tinkerer and an intellectual. You probably enjoy working with your hands and more passive activities like reading. You have many interests and hobbies... and you're always looking to take on a new one.

What's" Your Dominant Personality Trait?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Discover the Parts of Your Personality that Have Been Hiding

Dreams'>http://blogthings.com/whatlightsupyourlifequiz/results/?result=Dreams">Dreams Light Up Your Life

You don't mind reality, but your fantasy life is so much better. You are an expert daydreamer. You let yourself escape whenever you need to. You don't think there's anything wrong with a little daydreaming. You are helpful and inclined to comfort those in need. You like to make a difference. No matter how many times you've been hurt or disappointed, you remain hopeful. You are resilient.

http://blogthings.com/whatlightsupyourlifequiz/">What Lights Up Your Life?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: We Have a Quiz for Almost Everything

Your'>http://blogthings.com/areyoulivingthewronglifequiz/results/?result=60">Your Life is 60% Off Track

Right now, you're taking things one day at a time. Some things are going well, but you can't help but wonder if you're getting the most out of life. It's time for you to slow down and reflect a little. You can change your life - but it's up to you!

http://blogthings.com/areyoulivingthewronglifequiz/">Are You Living The Wrong Life?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: If Quizzes Are Outlawed, Only Outlaws Will Take Quizzes

You'>http://blogthings.com/howshouldyoudestressquiz/results/?result=Exercise">You Should Exercise

Part of what's stressing you out is the anger you feel toward others or the situation you're in. You don't want to be stressed out, but factors out of your control are really messing with your mind. You can work out some of those demons in a productive way through exercise. And it can be any exercise you choose. Go for a walk or a run. Chill out with yoga. Really get out some aggression with boxing. In the end, you'll be glad you did it.

http://blogthings.com/howshouldyoudestressquiz/">How Should You De-stress?

http://www.blogthings.com">Blogthings: Quizzes and Tests and Memes, Oh My!

That Tiny Voice

I have a serious issue; I seem to be a mental masochist. I do not relish in injuries to my body, but I continuously abuse my mind and emotions. I, quite often, get raw with such devastation from things that should not be there. I have an issue; if something hurts me, I make myself relive it over and over again.

Have you ever heard the saying 'don't beat a dead horse'? As much as I hate the phrase, because of its mentioning of a dead horse and beating horses, I have come to realize that it is a practical statement. When something has happened, sure, you have the right to dwell for a short amount of time. But once it is put to rest, LEAVE IT THERE.

Isaiah 43:18 says, "Give no thought to the things which are past; let the early times go out of your minds." This scripture could not be more lifesaving.

Everyone knows that I had a big "thing" go on last year with some people. I won't go into detail because I really don't have the right to since I am not the only one involved. Well, it took quite a while for me to beat down the hate and pain I had bubbling in my gut, but I did put it away. Recently, I was driving by an gathering of those people I warred with and I made myself stop to say hello against my better judgement. I know God was telling me I was foolish and that I should continue on to my friend's party, but I let Satan have his way. What harm could seeing former friends do? I mean, some of the people there still had my heart! There was only one man I did not want to see. Why pass up the opportunity to see a bunch of people I love, simply because one foe is in the presence of them?

I saw no harm done.

After I drove off, having pretended to smile even as the man I was angry with shook my hand, I felt the little bubbles in my gut start again. All that forgiveness I had built around the hate began to get gnawed away at. The rage surfaced back up, alongside the sorrow. I had done myself a deep disservice when I chose to go against the call of God. He urged me to press down the gas and turn off my directional, but I had ignored Him and took life into my own hands. Now I am paying the price.

Friends, please listen to the whispers of the Father. When He nudges you for or against something, listen. That tiny voice, that twisted gut, it is all His work. He wants you happy, Child, and He knows how to make it happen. Don't make my mistake by ignoring His wisdom for a split second.

The price for it is your joy.

I am working to get my smile back to be honest again. All the wounds that took a year to heal have been torn back open in a matter of seconds. Before you think you know better than God, think to yourself; is it worth it?

The Comfort Zone; Satan's Tool

If you ask someone what they think of me, often the response will be a Christian with some mild mood issues. That's what I appear to be on skin level. A good little Christian girl that sometimes lets people push her buttons. That's just if you ask a random person who knows me. But if you really want to know who I am, ask those who I am really close to. They will give another short, only slightly surprising answer: she's a Christian girl with a sharp tongue and some confidence issues. That is almost right...almost. If you ask me, I will act all macho and say that I'm a Christian who falls short of God every day but stands back up after every trial.

Lies. Every single one of them.

You might be thinking that the description outside the term "Christian" are what I say are lies, but that just is not true. Until recently, I had been in a slow moving slump with my faith. Now, I knew I was far from being a model Christian. I have many flaws I will always be working on. But the fact of the matter is I did think I was strong by my keeping faith when life hit some rough waters last year. I thought my heart was beating normally and my foes all forgiven. The pain was gone...

Another lie. It was only hiding.

Way back when I joined the church about two years ago, I was one of those "display Christian's". I wore the shirt of Jesus, but I only acted as such because my friends were all God-fearing beings. After some time I was chipped away at and eventually my heart accepted the Lord as my own personal Saviour. Life was good. Very good. Perfect, even.

Within a relatively short amount of time, that existence came crumbling down around my feet. I got depressed. I got angry. I screamed. I cursed. I cried. I questioned God. But like the good little robot I was, I wanted to please certain people so I buried the feelings. It took some time, but I eventually even convinced myself that the pain was gone. That the absolute and utter hate had been vanquished. That I was a good little Christian who loved the world and everything in it.

This past Sunday, I was blessed with visiting the church of my much loved English teacher, Arie May. Normally when I visited another's church, it was more for the fellowship of it and the curiosity. I'm a Saturday attendee and all other services are mere pleasures....But this was different. I walked in and, despite being uncomfortable at first, I began to feel an odd peace come over me. Before I could get too settled into a state of spiritual awakening, the service ended and we all made our way to lunch. Then Ms. May and I took off for some ice cream so I could show off my local general store. As we explored it, she offered me the opportunity to go back for the evening mass with her. I lept onto the idea enthusiastically and soon found myself, once again, sitting in the Bible Truth Tabernacle pews.

This service progressed in an even more entrancing way than the morning one. I found myself "dancing" with the other members, singing as loud as my lungs allowed. Then prayer began. At this point, I had tapered off and started back into my shell I put on when things begin hitting a more personal piece of my heart. This shell had even me in mystery as to what my heart really felt. I knew there was some emotion in there somewhere, but it was locked away and I had lost the key.

One of my best friends, Amanda, came over with a friend of hers. Amanda was in tears and she put her arms around me while praying for the world to hear. Her friend saw my lips twitch and assured me that crying was okay, told me it was just Jesus coming into my heart and that I should let Him in. I closed my eyes and soon I felt Ms. May's hand on my back and heard her uttering prayers as well. Moments later, the pastor's hand was on my forehead and he was praying for me. I didn't know what to do. I couldn't cry. I don't believe in crying with so many eyes on me. This was all against everything I held dear. Heck, I didn't know what bothered me so no way was I about to discover myself in front of so many people!

Afterwards, I had still not cried. Amanda and I sat down, Ms. May taking a seat on my other side. The woman offered a kind smile and then I admitted that I did not believe in crying in public because it made me feel weak. She patted me reassuringly and told me she understood, saying I could cry in private if that was where I best heard Jesus.

Later, in the car, she inquired as to what I thought of her church. "Well, Sister Arie," I began with a smile for I rather liked the church's habit of calling everyone Sister and Brother, "it was a very different experience and I enjoyed every second of it!" My enthusiastic smile faltered and slipped into a blank mask once more. "Sorry I did not cry...I just...I did not realize my heart ached so much."

"Lindsay, I have been meaning to ask you about what happened with you and the old church. I remember you writing something about all was perfect and then everything went wrong...Don't feel obligated to share, but I suspect that is what is clouding your heart and holding it tight."

"You're right, Ms. May." I then went into the details of the situation, unable to keep the burden to myself any longer. That pain and anger that I had thought I had previously vanquished, was alive and well, waking from hibernation, fed by the church I had just taken part in. The church let me know that feeling these things were okay, I just had to release it out and trust in God with it.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart; and don't lean on your own understanding. In all things acknowledge him, and he shall direct your way. Proverbs 3:5, 6

This is more of a personal narrative than I feel is proper for a Sabbath sermon, but I felt it gave a clear example of why we must not let our comfort zones rule our lives. If I had not gone outside my bubble, I would still have that pain and anger locked in my heart because, however much I love my church, it just wasn't what I needed to confront those hidden emotions. Albert Einstein once said that the definition to insanity is "doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results."

So, Brothers and Sisters, go above and beyond the routine you now follow. There may be something bothering you, in a crevice that God can't/won't go without your permission. The only way to release it is to do something different, something that will speak directly to that little bother and make it lunge forward to a place where you can tackle it and hand it to God. Satan wants you to find a comfort zone. Once it is in place, it is hard to overcome. And as Einstein explained, nothing will change if the pattern remains the same.

Give Up the Remote

Have you ever seen Click? It is a movie with Adam Sandler with this amazing remote that can control life; fast forward, rewind, pause...all those fancy buttons that come in handy on a television remote control. He is able to pause when he needs a breather, skip forward when life hits a burdensome streak, rewind to see where he had messed up.

Do you ever feel like you could use a remote like that? I know I do. A lot. More now than ever before. You see, it is testing time for High Schools across America. Not just any tests, but Advanced Placement (AP) testing. These are the big tests we have all been training for all year...or should have been. If we pass the test, we save around $1500 on college tuition. But if we fail, well, that is a waste of a year's Hardwork. And I do mean Hardwork with a capital "H". Even someone like me who has done the minimal all year has had to work until you drop. I don't study, I simply do the hand in work and pass by with an average grade (a "B" or so). Sure I fail every test, sure I don't actually get the information to stay in my head, but I am passing. That is all that matters.

Yesterday was a day of recognition. I am close with my Pre-AP Chemistry teacher so I sit and talk with her every morning. Well, Thursday morning she made a comment that drilled instantly into my very soul. "So, your Biology class today is your last one before the AP Biology exam!" My smile dropped. My heart stopped. I gasped and shouted a loud "Dangit". I was so preoccupied with enjoying myself that I had let it slip from my mind what was approaching. I had not studied all year. In fact, I did not know how to begin studying because I had never studied in my life. I knew that if I walked in to the exam at that moment I would get the lowest possible score.

I lost it.

The rest of the day was littered with bouts of tears. I was going to fail. I had thrown $1500, that could have been used for college, down the drain. My irresponsibility had put me behind. There was nothing in my mind that said I could do it. I looked around for people to hand me a magic hat that could instantly inject the knowledge into my head. I wanted a special remote to rewind time so I could take the year's classes over again so I could learn the material. No, I just wanted to press the pause button and make it so the test never came. I had given up before I had even started. I let myself get buried. I threw tantrums when I got home, full of self-loathing as I buckled under the pressure. "Why should I study? There is no way I can cram a year's knowledge into my head in three days! I give up!"

Crying, I lay with my head buried in papers. They were biology papers for I had considered studying. I instead had lost myself in my own misery and used the papers to hide my shame and wipe away my tears. Why even bother taking the test? Why give the effort when it would all be mute? "Lindsay, go take a hike and pray. Then come home when this is all out of your system." My mom made the suggestion and left my room, leaving it up to me whether to act on it or not. Minutes passed as I continued to wallow in hate, but I eventually climbed to my feet, put on my shoes, ran out the door, jumped over my fence, and ran through the trees until I came to my Prayer Spot.

I am a strong believer in never ceasing to pray. I tend to converse with God with each step I take. But there are not many times I fall to my knees and spill myself before the Lord. Only in my special little crevice beside a gently running creek with the water bugs and frogs and dragonflies, and occasionally deer watching me, can I look to the sky and scream. I know God can hear my silent thoughts, but here is where I know no-one can hear me. This is my spot. I made the trail to it and it looked overgrown whenever I went so I know no-one had made use of it. Here is where I challenge God, cursing Him. I know He hears me and forgives me for the hurtful things I say. I know He does not deserve the accusations I place against Him. But only when I lay them out on the table do I even realize they have been festering in my heart. I shock myself quite often when I begin emptying everything out in my little, protected Haven from the world. In this spot by the creek, my deepest secrets have been shouted. My fears and pains that I did not even know I had come flying past my lips.

This is where I remember that I can not be in control.

As I shouted to the Heavens, crying out in hate, shame, sorrow, and whatever negative emotion that can be piled on there, I came to the point where I fell silent. Blinking rapidly as one often does when the wires connect in the far corner of the brain, the corner with the shadows and cobwebs, I wiped away my tears. Peace began to envelope me and I could imagine God, whom had been sitting silently like a father waiting for their child to come to their own conclusion, smiling and nodding His head. He knew I had come to understand that it was time to give up the remote.

I could not keep pausing and rewinding my life. I had tried to handle it all on my own, balance the stress of everyday life and this new addition of the AP Biology exam. But I am so weak. Psalm 62:8 says,"Trust in Him at all times…. pour out your heart before him. God is a refuge for us." As Matthew 19:26 states, only through God are all things possible, even those things that are impossible for men.

In the movie, Click, Sandler's character finds his whole life fast-forwarded. His life is in ruins; his wife had divorced him, his kids are hateful towards him, he's overweight. At the end he dies, but then his life is rewinded. He finds that special remote again and simply throws it away, having learned that he is unable to have that kind of power. Will you be like Sandler, who gives up the remote, knowing he can not do it himself? Or will you continue to keep that remote in your hands, trying to balance it all alone? You have someone who is willing and able to help, you just have to give up the remote.

Master of Disguise

(Psalms 37:8) 8 Cease from anger, and forsake wrath. Don’t fret, it leads only to evildoing.
(II Timothy 2:24) 24 The Lord’s servant must not quarrel, but be gentle towards all, able to teach, patient,
(Ephesians 4:31) 31 Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, outcry, and slander, be put away from you, with all malice.
I smile. I laugh. I joke. I dance. I sing.
But I am neither nice nor happy.
I was sitting in History class just a few days ago, the class I let loose and allow my true form leak through. My teacher is a comedian (literally) and some of my goofiest friends are in that class with me. Sometimes I even would turn to minor foulness and violence, just to work my way up the ranks of being cool. I thought I was being nice. I never took myself serious. I was blind to how often I showed a true sense of anger over minor issues. Not just in history class, but in my entire school day. I remained ignorant to this fact until one of my history class buddies turn to me an laughed, "You have gotten angrier and angrier each day since the second half of last year!" This was the same boy who continuously raised me up saying how pure I was. He even commented one day that he was surprised the rapture didn't happen when Ms. A May and myself were in the same room, since we were both together and it'd be easy to have us both carried up to Heaven.
Anyway, I laughed when he said I had gotten angrier and angrier, brushing it off carelessly and without a second thought. It didn't matter. It was all in his head. I wasn't changing. That night I was laying awake, mind repeating those words over and over. The truth hit me with brutal strength, forcing tears to my eyes. I was angry, and I hadn't been a year ago. This time last year I was smiling, not allowing the dramas of life to bother me. And I was nice. I was patient. Annoying people were tolerated by me, burdensome learners lifted up by my want to help. But now I would scowl. I would scold. I would curse. I hated every body, and I admitted it openly. The peaceful Lindsay with a burdenless heart had died, replaced with the old girl of Rhode Island. The girl who considered humans to be a race of viruses on the world. A disease that I hated and wanted to destroy.
That one statement from an unknowing friend has changed my life. I am still angry. I am still hateful. I am still cruel. But I am aware. I am trying to change my life. I am calling on Jesus, which I didn't do when I had not yet noticed my changed attitude because I didn't think I needed it. I had been under the impression that I was still a Christian. I attended church. I prayed each night. I did a morning and evening Bible study. But my heart was elsewhere. I had lost my soul and didn't notice. It wasn't that I hadn't cared, I just had become blind to my own fury. I was not in control of my anger, my anger was in control of me.
So I write to you, Brothers and Sisters, and ask that you give yourself an examination. We are all vulnerable and the Devil can strike at any time. Satan has the power to overpower you and gain control without us even noticing. Talk to a friend that you know will be honest. Just because you smile and laugh doesn't mean your happy. It could just be that Lucifer is a master of disguise.

We All Need Saving

I know of many who follow my writings here on this site. There are people in America, Australia, India, Florida, and beyond who take the time to hear what pours from my heart. But it has been a good length of time since I have written here, and I feel a prick of shame for abandoning not only my readers, but also dropping the Mission of spreading God's word. The feeling of self-loathing at first was an unbearable one, even when I did so much to hide it. When alone, I'd fall to my knees and weep, knowing my path had take a turn for the worst. Once a soldier of Christ, marching proudly with His banner waving over my head, and then I had melted into a slave of the Devil. But not anymore.

Things here are going to be different. The wear and tear of having the obligation to bring forth a sermon every Sabbath was a burden that I folded beneath. I admire my pastors for what they do, and anyone who writes weekly the Word of God, but it is not a cross I seem capable of wearing. However, like my dear friend, Amber Clark, my life is littered with so many tales of God's mercy and grace. So this site was once a keeper of sermons, and it was ultimately my spiritual downfall. Now it will be a journal, a keeper of my spiritual journey. I won't be bolted down to merely Sabbath teachings, but I will express Christ's love whenever it seems notably present in my life.

This site was not the only cause of my downfall. Sure, it did not aid in building me up as it once had, but events in my life had made me weak and vulnerable to breaking. Writing a weekly sermon was simply the final straw that sent me into a spiral downward. I began to question God's loving grace, and I even wondered if there was a God to serve. My academic enthusiasm began to decline as a result of my leadened heart. If there was no God to serve and please, what use was all this work? Why appease mankind if I don't even like a thing about them? What is there to like about them? They are disgusting, selfish, idiotic jerks with no morale. The only thing that had been keeping my humanitarian standards afloat was the knowledge of knowing humanity was God's favored group. The idea of us being His children let me know that, though some were evil, there were many more who were kind. Once the thought of God perhaps not even being real crossed my head, I fell back to my pottymouthed human hater. Except on Sabbaths. Oh gracious, I would never misbehave on Sabbath. Except my reasoning for that changed; I was being a good little girl on Sabbaths because I had adopted a young girl, Hannah, as my little sister. I wanted her to be a good girl, so I had to be one. If not for having her watching my every move, I would have undoubtedly began defiling the holy day of rest.

Everyone knows my initial opinion about my job. Three or four Sundays into it I texted my friend, Jenna, and I quote, "I hate my job. I hate my job. I hate my job." Does that sound like a Christian attitude? Of course not, but then again, I had secretly declared myself an atheist once more. I wanted money for college and the Appalachian Trail, but why should I have to do something so boring and stupid to earn it? Oh pity me, world! I deserve the sympathy of mankind as I parade around in this idiotic costume and pretend I am happy so that drivers will be brainwashed into turning into the lot! I was going to quit, but my gut instinct told me not to. I didn't realize it at the time, but that job would become a highlight of my every week. Actually, I didn't realize it until this past Sunday--and look, I only have three more Sundays left. Bummer.

My seemingly pathetic little job is what saved my life. Waving for five hours gives me more than enough time to listen to music and attempt at prayer. A majority of my music are Christian songs so I listened out of boredom as I waved to the passing drivers. Every once in a while I would look to the clouds and ask God to do something for me. When no immediate response happened, I'd smirk and scold myself for talking to a cloud. It wasn't until two specific songs played that I had my eyes opened. They played one right after the other, and then the MP3 glitched and they played again in the same order. God was reinforcing the message.

Come to Jesus by Point of Grace was the first song to play:

This is for the weary and the weak. Yeah, I am weary and weak. What's it to you?
This is for the desperate and ashamed. I'm not desperate and ashamed! Oh wait...maybe a little.
This is for the hopeless hiding in the shadows. There's nothing to have hope for so of course I am standing in the shadows. This stupid world won't stop and wait for me. Screw them all.
cupping hands around a flickering of faith. I have no faith. God isn't there!...But I want Him to be...God, why did You walk away? Maybe I still know You're up there, but why are You ignoring me?

This is for the one's who don't belong. I don't belong anywhere. I don't need anyone...
This is for the silent castaways. No one even sees my tear stained eyes...
This is for the sinner peaking through the stained glass I have done so many wrongs, no wonder God has pushed me away.
from a sidewalk in the cold driving rain. I don't even deserve the Father's warmth.

We all fall down. What? Really? I'm not all alone?
We all need saving every once in a while. There are others life me? But surely I am worst then the rest...
You are not all alone. Okay, now you have my full attention. There is still hope for me? There are others on this journey with me?

We all lose faith and lean on mercy. God, do You really have enough mercy to hold me up?
And through our darkest night, He said He'd wait for us. You will wait for me, Father? Really? I couldn't ask You to do that.
Just come to Jesus. That is all I have to do? I just have to accept my Saviour again and You'll take me back?

For anyone who's given up on God. I have to tell You, God, sometimes I feel like You turn a blind eye to my suffering...
For those who tripped and fallen out of grace. I am such a clumsy fool. Father, it will take a lot of insurance for You to take me in as a client.
For anyone who's lookin to the bottom of a bottle, for strength to make it through another day. I tell you, Father, my weak and my heart is getting tired over here....

He did not come to raise the living or touch the eyes of those who see. Well, I suppose that makes sense...but, seriously, I am a lost cause. Don't worry Yourself.
It was for the bitter and the burned-out. Hey...that sounds an awful lot like me.
It was for the unforgivable. What? You're willing to forgive even people like me??
It was for the failure, standing on the bridge, because the guilt's too high a price to pay to live. Huh...wow. Father, You really do care.


I honestly just gave yall my exact thought process with every significant line of the song. You can see how I teeter-tottered in some places. The next song was Big Enough by Chris Rice. Now, this one really sealed the deal because after Come to Jesus played the second time, I was having the self-loathing return. I mean, I had questioned my Father! Now that I was assured He was there for me, I couldn't believe the unbelief I had had. The thoughts of self-disgust began to gnaw away at me...but then Big Enough played a second time:

None of us knows and that makes it a mystery. God, I have a scientific mind who likes physical evidence...but, even so, I can't believe I questioned You. I don't deserve Your mercy.
If life is a comedy, then why all the tragedy? But all these awful things are happening to me and around me. God, why?
Three and a half pounds of brain trying to figure it out, what this world is all about. I feel so stupid...Why can't I just follow You blindly like those in my church? I'm sure they don't question--I can't see Ms. June, Ms. Carol, Pastor Kitney, Hannah Doudiken, or Mrs. Plomaritas questioning! Why am I such a failure?
And is there an eternity, is there an eternity? I want to say yes, Father, but I just don't know.

God if You're there I wish You would show me, and God if You're there I need You to know me. I need some proof, Father! If all that happens to me are awful things, how could I ever think You're there? I just don't know...
I hope You don't mind me askin the questions Seriously, Father, I should just stop. Please, close my damn mouth right now. I don't deserve You or Your patience.
But I figure You're big enough, I figure You're big enough. Wow, hold the phone, Chris Rice! Why should we tempt the Lord like this? We can handle our own problems--He shouldn't have to deal with it.
'Cause I am not big enough. Hey...you're right, Chris....And I think God knows that. No, I know God knows that. I'm not big enough, but He is. I am weak, but He is strong. Wow...

I understand I didn't do the whole Big Enough song, but I don't feel I need to. I did the parts that hit me, and hit me hard. There was a God in Heaven that loved me, and He would hold the burdens too big for me to bear. These songs reminded me that I serve an AMAZING God who actively works in my life on a very personal way. And as those songs rejuvenated my spirit, I felt the Holy Spirit inhabit me once more. I lifted my eyes to Heaven and raised my hands to the sky in praise, right there on the sidewalk in a Statue of Liberty costume. And I prayed, out loud, singing the words to the skies.

It was during that time that God reminded me He had been with me even before I had gone back to Him. The week before I had mumbled about me needing a pocket Bible for the Appalachian Trail, but that I didn't want to waste my own money on one (mind you, I was in a secret atheist state of mind at this point so I needed it for reputation, not for my own devotion). Moments later, a nice Christian couple pulls up and gives me a pocket Bible (King James version) AND a ten dollar bill. Then, right before the songs that changed my life came on this week, I had felt an overwhelming hate towards mankind. My job had made me grow to love my fellow man, for many gave kind waves and friendly smiles--but the day was not so pleasant. Based on one bad day, I had labeled humanity back to being moronic jerks. And then a young man pulled up beside me and gave me a beautiful orange flower, rekindling my belief that there really is some good in the world.

Finally, God is working feverishly to bring my life back on track now that I have welcomed Him back into it. My favored cat, Geronimo, had been missing for a couple days. I stayed out until 1130PM looking for him last night and finally retired to my bed in solemn defeat. This morning, he still wasn't coming home. I stumbled to my room and kneeled by my window in tears. I lifted my voice up to Jesus, asking for my Geronimo back. As I opened my eyes, who do I see staring from the driveway into my window at me? Geronimo! You see, God answers prayers, even to those who fall and fall again. I like to think of myself as another Mary Magdalene, the woman who Jesus cast seven demons out of. Everyone stumbles and falls, sometimes even to the same sins over and over again. But He will be faithful and as long as we earnestly plead, Jesus is willing to forgive the most unforgivable things.

Because, the truth is, we all need saving every once in a while, and He is big enough to do it.

Holy Sabbath, Part 2

I have to say something. I've fallen short of God. I've sinned. Last week's sermon was not my own words, for the most part. With stress from school, and spiritual dilemmas, I became vulnerable to the Devil and opened my arms to welcome him. But now He has shown me my wrong, and has declared that I need to take a step back. Until I get my spiritual and academic life on track, I won't be doing a weekly sermon of my own. I'll always announce when it is mine or someone else's words. I'm sorry for any disapointment I caused.

Last week's sermon and this weeks are all acredited to http://www.sabbathfellowship.org/biblestudies/erwingane/biblestudy_gane_sabbathchng.htm
I may change the occasional words, or take out lines I don't actually agree with, but the majority is quoted.

Last week I announced that we'd be answering the question: DID THE APOSTLE PAUL REJECT THE SEVENTH-DAY SABBATH?

Despite the evidence that Jesus kept the Sabbath (Luke 4:16) and encouraged His followers to do the same (Matt. 24:20), and despite the evidence that Paul customarily observed the Sabbath (Acts 13, 16, 17, 18), some Bible students focus on certain passages in Paul's writings as supposed evidence that he sought to do away with the seventh-day Sabbath. The two passages that are usually presented are Romans 14:5, 6 and Colossians 2:13-17.

The Romans passage in context reads as follows:
"Welcome those who are weak in faith, but not for the purpose of quarreling over opinions. 2. Some believe in eating anything, while the weak eat only vegetables. 3. Those who eat must not despise those who abstain, and those who abstain must not pass judgment on those who eat; for God has welcomed them. 4. Who are you to pass judgment on servants of another? It is before their own lord that they stand or fall. And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand. 5. Some judge one day to be better than another, while others judge all days to be alike. Let all be fully convinced in their own minds. 6. Those who observe the day, observe it in honor of the Lord. Also those who eat, eat in honor of the Lord, since they give thanks to God; while those who abstain, abstain in honor of the Lord and give thanks to God" (Rom. 14:1-6).

Referring to verses 5 and 6, R. C. H. Lenski incorrectly comments: "We see no reason for refusing to assume that the distinction here touched upon refers to the Jewish Sabbath. What other day would any Roman Christian judge to be above other days? That self-chosen days are referred to is scarcely to be assumed. It is not difficult to see that a few Jewish Christians, some of them who perhaps came from the old mother church in Jerusalem, still clung to the Sabbath much as the Christians did after Pentecost."

If Lenski is correct, Paul was condoning those who were disregarding the seventh-day Sabbath? Other Sunday keeping scholars disagree with Lenski, and he is most certainly in error. In his writings, Paul consistently accepted the authority of the Ten Commandments as the standard of righteousness. "Do we then overthrow the law by this faith? By no means! On the contrary, we uphold the law" (Rom. 3:31). Paul identified the law that faith upholds as the Ten Commandments. "What then should we say? That the law is sin? By no means! Yet, if it had not been for the law, I would not have known sin. I would not have known what it is to covet if the law had not said, 'You shall not covet.'. . . So the law is holy, and the commandment is holy and just and good. . . . For we know that the law is spiritual; but I am of the flesh, sold into slavery under sin" (Rom. 7:7, 12, 14). Christ died "so that the just requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit"(Rom. 8:4).

It is inconceivable that one who had such a confirmed respect for the Ten Commandment law of God should summarily reject one of the commandments as no longer valid for Christians. Raoul Dederen pertinently comments: "It is to be noted, however, that the attempt to connect the Sabbath of the Decalogue with the 'days' mentioned in this passage is not convincing for everyone.(3) Who could have a divine commandment before him and say to others: 'You can treat that commandment as you please; it really makes no difference whether you keep it or not'? No apostle could conduct such an argument. And probably no man would be more surprised at that interpretation than Paul himself, who had utmost respect for the Decalogue, God's law, which is 'holy, and just, and good' (chap. 7:12). Christ, the norm of all Pauline teaching, was indisputably a Sabbathkeeper. And Paul himself, who evidently cannot be reckoned among the 'weak,' worshiped on the Sabbath 'as was his custom' (Acts 17:2, R.S.V.; cf. Luke 4:16).

"There is no conclusive evidence to the contrary. Paul was in no doubt as to the validity of the weekly Sabbath. Thus, to assume that when they were converted to Christianity by Paul, Gentiles or Jews would be anxious to give up the 'Jewish' Sabbath for their 'own day' is hardly likely. This could be expected only at some later time in the history of the Christian church, and for other reasons."

A number of conclusions emerge from a careful consideration of the passage:

(1) Romans 14 is not speaking of moral issues on which we have a clear "Thus saith the Lord." Verses 1-4 clearly make the point that God accepts both the spiritually strong who eat any food as well as the weak who think they should eat only vegetables. Speaking of both groups verse 4 says, "And they will be upheld, for the Lord is able to make them stand."

(2) The stronger Christians who use any kind of food are not eating that which is physically harmful. For them to do so would be a contradiction of their Christian commitment. Earlier in the epistle Paul instructs: "I appeal to you therefore, brothers and sisters, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies as a living sacrifice, holy and acceptable to God, which is your spiritual worship" (Rom. 12:1). To deliberately appropriate as food that which God condemns as harmful (see Lev. 11; Isa. 65:3, 4; 66:15-17) cannot be said to be behavior that God can accept; nor is it an acceptable application of the Romans 12:1 counsel. In his first epistle to the Corinthians, Paul seriously warns against defiling the body temple. "Do you not know that you are God's temple and that God's Spirit dwells in you? If anyone destroys God's temple, God will destroy that person. For God's temple is holy, and you are that temple" (1 Cor. 3:16, 17). But in Romans 14, God accepted the diet of the non-vegetarians. The issue was not a matter of health. Since God accepted both parties, the dietary issue among the Roman Christians was a matter of indifference (adiaphora); it was not a question of right and wrong.

Paul says later in the chapter, "I know and am persuaded in the Lord Jesus that nothing is unclean in itself; but it is unclean for anyone who thinks it unclean. If your brother or sister is being injured by what you eat, you are no longer walking in love" (Rom. 14:14, 15). This parallels the remark in his epistle to Timothy: "For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected, provided it is received with thanksgiving" (1 Tim. 4:4) Are we therefore to assume that slugs and snails and the kinds of flesh condemned in the Old Testament as unfit for food can now be eaten because the Christian has been given unrestrained freedom in questions of diet? Obviously not! What Paul is saying is that everything that God created as acceptable for food may be partaken of. But Paul is not condoning the eating of that which would be harmful to health whether it is specifically mentioned in Scripture or not. Since our bodies are the temples of the Holy Spirit, imbibing that which is hurtful to health is a moral issue. The issue in Rome was not a question of health; it was a question of preference in matters that did not involve right and wrong in God's sight. But one party did not recognize that the specific dietary question was a non-issue. Vegetarians today who refrain from eating flesh for health reasons have a different motivation than did the vegetarians in the Roman church.

(3) In Romans 14:5, 6, Paul treats the controversy over days in a similar manner. The question was not a moral issue as it would have been if one of the Ten Commandments was being questioned. The Sabbath and worship are not even mentioned in the passage. The observance of the days in question, whatever days they were, was not a matter of right and wrong. The Lord accepted both parties, those who observed the days and those who did not. In the light of Matthew 24:20, the Lord could not have accepted anyone who did not honor His Sabbath day, as Jesus had honored it during his life on earth (Luke 4:16) and as Paul himself honored it (Acts 13, 15, 17, 18).

(4) Roul Dederen has pointed out that there seems to have been a clear connection between the observance of days in Rome and the vegetarianism of the weaker Christians. Those who were abstaining from eating particular foods "in honor of the Lord" seem to have been those who were observing particular days in honor of the Lord (verse 6). Dederen's suggestion is that there was a party in the Roman church that chose to refrain from certain foods on certain days which they regarded as religious fast days. He writes: "Paul's statement in Romans 14:2, 'One believes he may eat anything, while the weak man eats only vegetables' (R.S.V.) is curiously analogous to his thought in verse 5, 'One man esteems one day as better than another, while another man esteems all days alike' (R.S.V.). He mentions the two cases together, and later in the chapter he declares that a man should not be judged by his eating (verses 10-13), which may imply that Paul is referring to fast days. It appears quite probable from the context that Paul here is correlating the eating with the observance of days. Most likely--although it is impossible to ascertain this--the apostle is dealing with fast days in a context of either partial or total abstinence.

"Here again the Essenes may have caused the problem It is certainly significant that besides abstaining from meat and wine--at least at times--they were also very specific in the matter of observing days. They sanctified certain days that were not observed by the general stream of Jews. . . .

"Some pertinent observations emerge now that could well tie in the matter of diet with that of esteeming certain days above others. The Essenes scrupulously abstained from meat and wine--at least at times. They added certain feast days to the regular Jewish calendar. The discussion over the point existed in Jewry prior to the advent of Christianity. Could it be that the controversy was carried over into the Christian church and finds itself reflected in Romans 14? In this case, the practice of the weak may be compared with the early Christian custom indicated in the Didache of fasting twice every week. Is it not significant, and relevant as well, that we have in this document too a matter of diet and days connected in a controversial issue?"

The Didache or Teaching that Dederen cites is a late first- or early second-century document.(6) It reveals a controversy in the Christian church over fast days. The relevant statement reads: "Your fasts must not be identical with those of the hypocrites. They fast on Mondays and Thursdays; but you should fast on Wednesdays and Fridays."(7) The hypocrites are a reference to the Jews whose fast days were Mondays and Thursdays.(8) By contrast, Christians were to Fast on Wednesdays and Fridays.

We know that in Jesus' day there was a controversy over fasting. (See Matt. 6:16-18; 9:14, 15; Mark 2:18; Luke 5:33-35.) In fact, in Jesus' parable of the Pharisee and the tax collector, the Pharisee prayed, "I fast twice a week" (Luke 18:12). It seems that it would not be unusual for the fasting controversy of Jesus' day to carry over into the early Christian church with lively discussion as to which days would be the most appropriate for fasting.

Some have suggested that the days referred to in Romans 14:5, 6 were the ceremonial feast days of the Jewish religious year. (See Lev. 23; Num. 28, 29.) Although this is a possibility, the suggestion seems to be ruled out by the fact that these days were feast days, not fast days. Paul's discussion of the controversy over days (Rom. 14) is associated with his discussion of abstinence from food. Hence it seems that Dederen's suggestion of the presence in the Roman church of an ascetic group like the Essenes who were insisting on abstinence from certain foods on certain days is the most likely explanation.

At all events, the passage gives no warrant for the conclusion that Paul rejected the seventh-day Sabbath.

A second passage that is often cited as evidence that Paul rejected the seventh-day Sabbath is Colossians 2:13-17. In the New American Standard Bible, the passage is translated as follows:

"13. And when you were dead in your transgressions and the uncircumcision of your flesh, He made you alive together with Him, having forgiven us all our transgressions, 14. having canceled out the certificate of debt consisting of decrees against us and which was hostile to us; and He has taken it out of the way, having nailed it to the cross. 15. When He had disarmed the rulers and authorities, He made a public display of them, having triumphed over them through Him. 16. Therefore let no one act as your judge in regard to food or drink or in respect to a festival or a new moon or a Sabbath day-- 17. things which are a mere shadow of what is to come; but the substance belongs to Christ."

Verses 13 and 14 are speaking of God's forgiveness of the believer's sins made possible by Christ's death on the cross. Some would have us believe that the law was nailed to the cross. But this is not what the text is saying. It was our indebtedness in view of our having broken the law that was nailed to the cross. Verse 14 may be translated, "Blotting out the handwriting in decrees which was against us which was contrary to us, and he took it out of the way, nailing it to the cross." The "handwriting" (Greek: cheirographon) refers to a bond or certificate of debt.(9) The certificate of debt was "in decrees" (Greek: tois dogmasin). God had decreed that "the wages of sin is death, but the free gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord" (Rom. 6:23). Jesus took the death which was ours so that we can have the life which is His. (Compare Romans 5:15-21.) "He himself bore our sins in his body on the cross, so that, free from sins, we might live for righteousness; by his wounds you have been healed" (1 Peter 2:24). "The Lord has laid on him the iniquity of us all" (Isa. 53:6). "For our sake he made him to be sin who knew no sin, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God" (2 Cor. 5:21). It was our guilt born by Jesus Christ that was nailed to the cross. As we have noted above, the law remains as the standard expression of God's righteousness. Christ died "so that the just requirement of the law might be fulfilled in us, who walk not according to the flesh but according to the Spirit" (Rom. 8:4).

Not only did Jesus suffer for our sins on the cross, he disarmed Satan and his cohorts and publicly displayed to the world and the universe the evil demons that they are. "He disarmed the rulers and authorities and made a public example of them, triumphing over them in it" (Col. 2:15).

Verse 16 adds the corollary: No one can now judge the believer in regard to ritualistic eating and drinking or in respect to the sacrificial observances involved in the practice of the ceremonial law. "These are only a shadow of what is to come, but the substance belongs to Christ" (verse 17).

The phrase "a festival [feast] or a new moon or a sabbath" (Col. 2:16, RSV) is an idiomatic or stylized reference to the ceremonial sacrifices offered in the ancient Israelite sanctuary or temple. The Old Testament background is in Numbers 28 and 29 and Leviticus 23, in which the burnt offerings daily, weekly, monthly, and yearly are listed. There were five yearly feasts, involving seven ceremonial sabbaths. The seven ceremonial sabbaths were:

(1) The first day of the feast of unleavened bread (Lev. 23:7).

(2) The last day of the feast of unleavened bread (Lev. 23:8).

(3) The feast of weeks, 50 days after the feast of unleavened bread (Lev. 23:21).

(4) The feast of trumpets on the first day of the seventh month (Lev. 23:24, 25).

(5) The day of atonement on the 10th day of the 7th month (Lev. 23:27-32).

(6) The first day of the feast of tabernacles (Lev. 23:35).

(7) The last day of the feast tabernacles (Lev. 23:36).

Seven Old Testament passages use some form of the phrase "feasts, new moons, sabbaths" (1 Chron. 23:31; 2 Chron. 2:4; 8:12, 13; 31:3; Neh. 10:33; Eze. 45:17; Hosea 2:11). Consistently these passages refer to the burnt offerings to be offered weekly, monthly, and yearly. Usually the feasts specify only the three pilgrimage feasts (Unleavened Bread, Weeks or Pentecost, and Tabernacles). The sabbaths must, therefore, include the ceremonial sabbaths--otherwise Solomon, for example, would have failed to offer burnt offerings on the days of Trumpets and Atonement.

"Then Solomon offered up burnt offerings to the Lord on the altar of the Lord that he had built in front of the vestibule, as the duty of each day required, offering according to the commandment of Moses for the sabbaths, the new moons, and the three annual festivals--the festival of unleavened bread, the festival of weeks, and the festival of booths [tabernacles]" (2 Chron. 8:12, 13). If the "sabbaths" mentioned in the passage did not include ceremonial sabbaths, Solomon would have failed to offer the stipulated burnt offerings on the feast of Trumpets and the Day of Atonement, because the feasts as listed exclude these two ceremonial sabbaths.

The word sabbath (whether singular or plural) in the phrase "feast, new moon, sabbath" specifies the burnt offerings for weekly and annual (ceremonial sabbaths). Colossians 2:16, 17 is simply teaching that the sacrifices offered weekly (sabbath), monthly, or yearly were a "shadow" pointing forward to Christ (see Heb. 8:5; 10:1), which lost their significance at the cross. Now no one has a right to judge those who reject these ceremonial observances which pointed forward to the sacrifice and heavenly ministry of Jesus Christ. The phrase "feast, new moon, sabbath" is simply a stylized way of referring to the temporary ceremonial observances that typified the work of our Savior.

Although the special animal sacrifices commanded for the weekly Sabbath (Num 28; Lev. 23) no longer have significance, the weekly Sabbath itself remains as a perpetual memorial of Creation (Gen. 2:1-3; Ex. 20:8-11; Matt. 24:20; Heb. 4:9) and a sign of sanctification (Ex. 31:13) and redemption (Heb. 4:9-11).

The "food and drink" (Col. 2:16, RSV) may refer to the meal and drink offerings that were presented to God along with the burnt offerings (see Num. 28:2, 5, 7, 9, 13, 14, etc.). Or they may refer to ritualistic eating and drinking or abstaining from eating and drinking of the kind referred to in Romans 14:1-6. Or they may refer to eating or not eating food that had been offered to idols (1 Cor. 8).

The force of the passage (Col. 2:13-17) is that, since Christ has died for our sins, and we have now been forgiven, ceremonial, ritualistic observances that foreshadowed aspects of his sacrificial and mediatorial ministries have been done away, and no Christian should allow himself to be judged in respect to these ceremonial observances. Paul was not abolishing the weekly Sabbath which, according to the book of Acts, he consistently observed.

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Next week we will tackle the question, "WHEN AND WHERE DID SUNDAY OBSERVANCE BEGIN?"


May the Lord bless all of you. I love you.

Holy Sabbath, Part 1

Outline
Opening Prayer: Lindsay Lagasse
Music: Sabbath Day by Neville Peters
Main Text: Exodus 31:13-18
Sermon: Lindsay Lagasse
Closing Prayer: Lindsay Lagasse

Dear Father, as our week comes to a close, we want to thank You for the many blessings You have bestowed upon us. Thanks for the eagle that was released on this day, thanks for the warmer weather, thanks for bees returning to pollinate our growing flowers. The blessings are without number, Lord, and we humble ourselves with the endless gratitude for Your mercy.
God, we pray You are sitting with us, here, as we read through what I have written. We pray that every word, Lord, is given to me by You. Help the lesson You have presented here today to soften our hearts to be more able to hear and accept what You say.
In Your merciful name, AMEN.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IrNwYJRdoQY&feature=related

“Speak also to the children of Israel, saying: ‘Surely My Sabbaths you shall keep, for it is a sign between Me and you throughout your generations, that you may know that I am the LORD who sanctifies you.
You shall keep the Sabbath, therefore, for it is holy to you. Everyone who profanes it shall surely be put to death; for whoever does any work on it, that person shall be cut off from among his people.
Work shall be done for six days, but the seventh is the Sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD. Whoever does any work on the Sabbath day, he shall surely be put to death.
Therefore the children of Israel shall keep the Sabbath, to observe the Sabbath throughout their generations as a perpetual covenant.
It is a sign between Me and the children of Israel forever; for in six days the LORD made the heavens and the earth, and on the seventh day He rested and was refreshed.’”
And when He had made an end of speaking with him on Mount Sinai, He gave Moses two tablets of the Testimony, tablets of stone, written with the finger of God.
(EXODUS 31:13-18, NKJV)
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I'm here to talk about the Sabbath. Get that curser away from the exit box! I know many of you that read my sermons do not follow the Saturday is the Sabbath day idea. I understand that. Yes, I will be doing some preaching here, but the bottom line is this: we don't know, nor will we ever know for sure. Besides, my biggest peeve are not those who keep Sunday as the Sabbath, it is those who do not keep the Sabbath holy, whether it be Saturday or Sunday. So, bear with me. I will poke around the "which day is the Sabbath day" argument, but if you find it hard to focus in on that, please just listen closely to the points where I tell to "keep the Sabbath holy". Open your heart to really hear the words and feel their power.

So, I will start off a little preachy right away. Remember, I am asking you to be tolerant. If you disagree or you have some information I should know, by all means, share! I am on a search for truths, as God calls us to do, and anything that can draw me closer to the Truth is very much appreciated. This sermon will be split into a couple different parts. This is such a loaded topic, that it would be burdensome to the eyes if yall had to read all I had to say in a single sitting.

Many Sunday observers argue that the change of the Sabbath from the seventh to the first day of the week dates back to Jesus and His apostles. They assert that Sunday observance replaced the seventh-day Sabbath for most Christians as early as the first century A.D. and became a fixed custom by the mid-second century. Therefore, they urge that all Christians today should regard the seventh-day Sabbath as a Jewish institution that should not be observed. Since Sunday was the first day of creation week (Gen. 1:5) and the day on which Christ rose from the dead (Matt. 28:1-10; Mark 16:1-9), it should be observed as a day of Christian worship and rejoicing in accordance with the custom of the early Christian fathers. In fact, Sunday keepers argue that observance of the seventh-day Sabbath is a highly legalistic custom that is thoroughly consistent with those Jewish ceremonial practices abolished when Jesus died on the cross.

This theory raises a whole series of questions in regard to the teaching of the New Testament and the testimony of history. Did Jesus change the day from the seventh to the first day of the week? Did the apostles urge that Sunday be observed as a memorial of the resurrection of Christ? Did they themselves observe Sunday as a special day of worship? Was first-day worship a substitute for Sabbath worship for most Christians as early as the second century A.D.? Was the Sabbath regarded by early Christians as a purely Jewish institution with no significance for followers of Christ? What does history have to teach us regarding the reason for the change of the day from the seventh to the first day of the week? These questions are vital for Christians today! If it happens to be unscriptural and unhistorical that Sunday observance was initiated by Christ and the apostles, those who argue so strenuously for it today are supporting a non-Christian practice. If Jesus and the apostles observed the seventh-day Sabbath, and Sunday keeping crept into the Christian Church over a period of centuries as pagan ideas and practices became more and more acceptable, those who reject the Sabbath today are spurning one of Christ's commandments and are, therefore, in grave danger of being rejected by God. To be a Christian is to believe and act as Jesus did (John 14:15; Rev. 3:21; 12:17; 14:12). To profess faith in Christ while rejecting aspects of His teaching and refusing to live and worship as He instructed is to be guilty of serious sin. "Whoever says, 'I have come to know him,' but does not obey his commandments, is a liar, and in such a person the truth does not exist; but whoever obeys his word, truly in this person the love of God has reached perfection. By this we may be sure that we are in him: whoever says, 'I abide in him,' ought to walk just as he walked" (1 John 2:4-6).

Notice that I was a little harsh in some of my above statements. I do that because those who have any hint of doubt in their Sunday worship, they must come to understand that it is a sign from God. I am a Saturday worshipping individual, so of course I feel strongly on this matter. However, if someone is truley convicted that Sunday IS the holy Sabbath, I have no right to go up and say 'I am right and you are wrong'--nor would I EVER consider taking that approach! I am a newborn in my faith so I know very little. In fact, I know nothing. I can have faith in what I follow, but I will not KNOW until Christ comes again. Besides, even if Saturday is the true Sabbath day, maybe God has a specific reason for having some individuals feel so sure of Sunday worship. The Divine knows all before it occurs, so I have no position to question Him in any way.

Continuing, we will begin with the Scriptures and then turn to history for the answers to the questions we are asking. A much more complete discussion of the Sabbath-Sunday question can be found in the book edited by Kenneth A. Strand, The Sabbath in Scripture and History (Washington, DC.: Review and Herald, 1982).

DID JESUS AND THE APOSTLES CHANGE THE DAY OF WORSHIP FROM THE SEVENTH-DAY SABBATH TO SUNDAY, THE FIRST DAY OF THE WEEK?

First, I feel the need to point out verse 18 of the 31st chapter in Exodus: "And when He had made an end of speaking with him on Mount Sinai, He gave Moses two tablets of the Testimony, tablets of stone, written with the finger of God." It was written with the finger of GOD. Even Jesus can not change the words of the Father. The Lord is consistant, so He wouldn't permit His Son to alter His holy day.

Then, the word Sunday is not found in the Bible. In the New Testament the first day of the week is mentioned eight times. In none of the eight instances is the first day said to be a day of worship, never is it said to be the Christian substitute for the Old Testament Sabbath, and never do the texts suggest that the first day of the week should be regarded as a memorial of Christ's resurrection. Let us briefly consider each of the eight New Testament passages that mention the first day of the week.

Matthew 28:1, "After the sabbath, as the first day of the week was dawning, Mary Magdalene and the other Mary went to see the tomb. And suddenly there was a great earthquake. . . ." Jesus was crucified on Friday. He rested in the tomb over the Sabbath and rose early on Sunday morning. The verse indicates that the women disciples returned to the tomb at the very first opportunity after the death and burial of Jesus. Because the Sabbath came so soon after His burial, they could not approach the tomb again until after sundown on Sabbath evening. (The Sabbath began at sundown on the sixth day and ended at sundown on the seventh day; compare Lev. 23:32; Neh. 13:19; Mark 1:21, 32) Early Sunday morning was the most convenient time for them to visit the tomb.

Mark 16:1, 2, "When the sabbath was over, Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James, and Salome bought spices, so that they might go and anoint him. And very early on the first day of the week, when the sun had risen, they went to the tomb." Mark records the same events as Matthew with the additional information that the women visited the tomb early on the Sunday morning for the express purpose of anointing Jesus' body with spices.

Mark 16:9, "Now after he rose early on the first day of the week, he appeared first to Mary Magdalene, from whom he had cast out seven demons." This verse simply records that, after His resurrection early on the Sunday morning, Jesus appeared to Mary Magdalene.

Luke 23:54 ­ 24:1, "It [the day of Jesus' death and burial] was the day of Preparation, and the sabbath was beginning. The women who had come with him from Galilee followed, and they saw the tomb and how his body was laid. Then they returned, and prepared spices and ointments. On the sabbath they rested according to the commandment. But on the first day of the week, at early dawn, they came to the tomb, taking the spices that they had prepared." The Sabbath came a few hours after Jesus' death on the cross. The women disciples "rested the sabbath day according to the commandment" (Luke 23:56, KJV). Then very early in the morning of the first day they visited the tomb to anoint the body of Jesus. The fact that they observed the Sabbath rest is sufficient indication that Jesus had never attempted to change the day or to suggest that after His death the first day would replace the Sabbath. Writing years after the event, Luke gave not the slightest hint that, even though the women disciples of Jesus observed the Sabbath, such a practice was no longer expected of Christians. He simply recorded that the Sabbath day "according to the commandment," which Jesus' followers were careful to observe, was the day after the crucifixion day (Friday), and before the resurrection day (Sunday).

John 20:1, "Early on the first day of the week, while it was still dark, Mary Magdalene came to the tomb and saw that the stone had been removed from the tomb." Mary Magdalene visited the tomb early the first day of the week. Nothing is said of Sunday as a day of worship or rest.

John 20:19, "When it was evening on that day, the first day of the week, and the doors of the house where the disciples had met were locked for fear of the Jews, Jesus came and stood among them and said, 'Peace be with you.'" On the evening of the first day of the week the disciples were assembled behind locked doors "for fear of the Jews." Jesus appeared to them at that time. The passage does not say that henceforth Sunday was to be the day for worship. Since it was the evening of the first day of the week that Jesus appeared to the disciples, it was after sundown. According to Jewish reckoning this was actually the beginning of the second day (Monday; compare Gen. 1:5, 8). A week later when Thomas happened to be present, Jesus met with the disciples again (verse 26). But, writing years later, John records nothing regarding Sunday as a day of Christian worship. John's narrative gives no warrant for regarding Sunday as a substitute for the Sabbath or as a day to be distinguished by Christians above any other day of the week. And there is no indication in the passage that Sunday should henceforth be observed as a memorial of Christ's resurrection.

Acts 20:7, "On the first day of the week, when we met to break bread, Paul was holding a discussion with them; since he intended to leave the next day, he continued speaking until midnight." Since the meeting was held at night on the first day of the week, it may have been Saturday night. According to Jewish reckoning, the Sabbath ended and the first day of the week began at sundown of the seventh day. If it were Sunday evening, the event gives no suggestion that Sunday should be observed as a day of worship. The following verses record that Paul preached a sermon on Thursday. The next day after the meeting recorded in Acts 20:7 (Monday), Paul and his party set sail for Mitylene (Acts 20:13, 14). The following day (Tuesday) they arrived opposite Chios (verse 15). The next day (Wednesday) they passed Samos (verse 15), and the day after that (Thursday) they arrived at Miletus (verse 15). The elders of the church of Ephesus met Paul at Miletus, and he preached to them (Acts 20:16-36). Because a Christian service was held on Thursday, do we conclude that Thursday is a day for regular Christian worship replacing the observance of the seventh-day Sabbath? A religious service on Sunday, Thursday, or any other day certainly did not make that day a replacement for the seventh-day Sabbath or a day of regular Christian worship and rest. There is no special significance in the disciples breaking bread at this first-day meeting, for they broke bread "daily" (Acts 2:46). We are not told that it was a Lord's Supper celebration, nor are we told that henceforth Sunday should be the day for this service to be conducted. To read Sunday sacredness or Sunday observance into Acts 20:7 is to do violence to the text.

Corinthians 16:1, 2, "Now concerning the collection for the saints: you should follow the directions I gave the churches of Galatia. On the first day of every week, each of you is to put aside and save whatever extra you earn, so that collections need not be taken when I come. And when I arrive, I will send any whom you approve with letters to take your gift to Jerusalem." These verses may be literally translated from the Greek as follows: "And concerning the collection for the saints, as I instructed the churches of Galatia, so also you do. On the first day of the week let each of you place (or 'lay') by himself, storing up whatever he might be prospered, so that when I come there might be no collections." (Italics supplied.) The phrase "by himself" (par' heauto), followed by the participle "storing up" or "saving" (thesaupizon), rules out the possibility that this is a reference to an offering taken up in a worship service. The Christian believer was to check his accounts on Sunday and put by at home the money that he wished to give to Paul for the support of the church. When Paul arrived, then the offerings of each individual would be collected.

None of these eight New Testament references to the first day of the week (Sunday), provides any evidence that Jesus or His disciples changed the day of worship from the seventh to the first day. Nor is the first day of the week represented as a time to memorialize the resurrection of Christ. Whatever special significance was given to Sunday in the later history of the church, it had no basis in the teaching or practice of Jesus and His apostles.

Jesus instructed His disciples to observe the Sabbath after His death (Matt. 24:20). Jesus' instruction was incorporated into His interpretation of Daniel 8 (compare Matthew 24:15 ff.). Daniel predicted that the work of the little horn power would continue until the setting up of God's kingdom (Dan. 8:25). Hence, Jesus' instruction to flee from the little horn power was not confined to Christians at the time of the destruction of Jerusalem (A.D. 70). Toward the end of time, during the great tribulation of Matthew 24:21, of which earlier tribulations were a type or preview, God's people will be obliged to flee again. Jesus' instruction that we pray that our flight will not be on the Sabbath day emphasizes His will that we engage in only those activities on the Sabbath that are consistent with worship and spiritual rest.

The record of the book of Acts (chapters 13, 16­18) establishes that the apostles consistently kept the Sabbath day as a time for worship and fellowship. This observance was not merely a means of meeting the Jews in the synagogue on their Sabbath day. In Philippi, Paul and his companions met for worship by the riverside. Luke says, "On the sabbath day we went outside the gate to the riverside, where we supposed [or "thought" or "assumed" : Greek nomizo] there was a place for prayer. . . ." (Acts 16:13). The apostles selected a place by the river that they thought would be appropriate for their Sabbath worship service, and there they prayed and witnessed for their Lord.

Jesus and the apostles kept the seventh-day Sabbath and instructed others to do likewise.

Thanks for bearing with me for this :) Next week I will continue on with this, starting with the question "Did the Apostle Paul reject the seventh-day Sabbath?". I hope I didn't chase anyone away.
Have a blessed week.

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Dear Lord, no matter what day we sit and honor You, we pray we do it in a way that is pleasing in Your sight. You have told us to honor the Spirit of the Law more so than focus on the Word of the Law.
As we continue on with this week, we pray we walk in Your steps, Father, that all we do is good in Your sight, so You can say that You are 'well pleased'. In Christ's Name we pray, AMEN.