All the Wrong Reasons

I have been going to church, tacking on the name Christian, for three years now. My attendance to the Sabbath services has been kept up to par, my willingness to help serve always eager. But why? Why have I been a 'good' Christian? Because love God? Yes, of course I do! But I fear that that may not be the most prominent reason for my loyalties to the church. God tells us to relish in Fellowship, but we should not put Fellowship's throne above His own. I am not a social person. In fact, I do everything in my power to avoid social situations. Except church. I love my Roanoke Seventh-Day Adventist family. And before them, I loved my Smith Mountain Lake one. They are all such wonderful people that I find I am snared in a web. Now the strands are breaking and I realize I was not holding on, but simply being held onto. I've fallen, and I can't get up. Church is not about God for me anymore. My enthusiasm each Sabbath morning was supposedly directed at Him, but why does it die now that things have changed? He hasn't changed on me, so if the joy had been for Him, I would still be enthusiastic. Unfortunatly, I'm not. I don't dread church, but I find no push. The only things that have changed are all about people. Man. It shouldn't bother me that these things change, my love for worship should not be so conditional. But it is. My Family, pray for me, and I will surely be praying for you. Church has ben motivated by all the wrong reasons for three years. Let today be the day that I stand and say "I am going to church this Sabbath with a smile pulled tightly across my face, because I love God." and let it not continue to sing the tunes of man.